Silver Lining of Disappointments

Today, I want to talk about a concept that has been a significant game-changer in my life—disappointing people. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but bear with me. You see, for the longest time, I believed that I had to please everyone, to be the person who never let anyone down. It was an exhausting pursuit that left me feeling lost and disconnected from my own desires and needs. 

Let's face it—we can't please everyone. No matter how kind-hearted or considerate we may be, our choices will inevitably disappoint someone along the way. And that's perfectly okay. 

For someone like me, who battles anxiety, the pressure to please everyone was particularly overwhelming. I found myself attending every social event, accepting every invitation, and spreading myself thin. I would exhaust myself both physically and mentally, sacrificing my own well-being in the process. I believed that saying "no" would disappoint people, and that thought was simply unbearable to me. But the aftermath was devastating—I'd be drained for days, struggling to recover from the overstimulation.

It was in those moments of chronic burnout that I realised I had to make a change. I began to question the importance of constantly seeking validation from others. Did it truly define my worth? Was it worth sacrificing my own happiness and peace of mind? Deep down, I knew the answer was a resounding "no."

So, I made the decision to prioritise my well-being and reclaim my sense of self. I started by setting boundaries and learning to say "no" when necessary. Yes, this meant that I would disappoint people along the way, but it was a crucial step towards rediscovering my own identity.

Now, I consciously limit the number of overstimulating situations I put myself in. And you know what? It disappoints people. Some friends, acquaintances, and even loved ones may not understand or agree with my choices. But here's the crucial part: I've learned that my mental health and self-discovery should be paramount.

And you know what? The journey hasn't been easy. There were moments when guilt and self-doubt crept in, making me question my choices. However, I've come to understand that disappointing others does not make me a bad person. It doesn't diminish my worth or invalidate my kindness and compassion.

Repeat after me: I am not a bad person just because my decisions don't align with someone else's expectations. 

Choosing self-care and self-awareness over constant people-pleasing has been liberating. By disappointing others, I've given myself the opportunity to focus on my own growth and happiness. I've realised that I'd rather have a few disappointed people than lose touch with my own identity and live a life that feels inauthentic. I started to understand who I truly am, what brings me joy, and how to take care of myself.

We are all unique individuals with different needs, limits, and aspirations. It's simply impossible to please everyone all the time. By accepting this truth, we free ourselves from the shackles of external expectations and begin to live a life that aligns with our true essence.

Embracing disappointment has become my key to unlocking personal growth and cultivating meaningful connections. Those who understand and respect my journey have stayed by my side, while others have faded away. And that's perfectly okay.

So, if you're struggling with the fear of disappointing others, I urge you to pause and reflect. Remember that your worth is not contingent upon the expectations of those around you. It's about living an authentic life—a life that reflects your values, passions, and personal growth.

Don't be afraid to set boundaries and say "no" when needed. Prioritise your well-being and inner happiness. You deserve a life where you can truly thrive and discover your purpose. And yes, along the way, you might disappoint a few people, but trust me when I say that it's a small price to pay for the gift of self-discovery and self-love.

In the end, it's not about pleasing everyone—it's about finding yourself amidst the chaos of expectations. Embrace the freedom that comes with disappointing others and embark on a journey of authenticity. You owe it to yourself to live a life that feels true and fulfilling.

As the great poet Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

So go ahead, be unapologetically you, even if it means disappointing a few people along the way. Trust me; it's a choice you won't regret.

With love and authenticity,

Maria xx